Friday, January 30, 2009

Day 5: Called out on the carpet-twice

Today I was called out on the carpet by somebody very special to me.  Without getting into detail, just suffice it to say it was warranted.  It wasn't anything terrible, but it is certainly something I actively work on about myself, a tendency to let my old friend "insecurity" crawl up from the back seat and take the wheel.  I try to keep him in the trunk, but when he sneaks up on me like that I can over react and over analyze and that's never a good combination where I'm concerned.  
Interestingly enough, the yoga room sometimes mirrors life.  I was again called out on the carpet in my 430 class with Kirk today.  He was pretty firm with me, correcting my stance in separate leg head to knee stretching which then helped me to align my hips properly.  I never get upset to get corrections, I love them.  It was just funny how he was firmer than normal trying to get me to position everything the right way.  The class itself was pretty good, it flew by, he was done in 80 minutes and the room was a pretty good temperature.  I felt strong and had no issues.  
You know, being called out on the carpet is not a bad thing.  This challenge isn't just about trying to physically change my body.  It is so much more than that.  Inevitably, I find out more and more about myself mentally and emotionally when I embark on these 60 day yoga challenges.  Yes, the body will change, but more importantly, I need those mirrors, in that room for that 90 minutes, to look at my reflection and make contact with my soul.  I remember how when I first started I just could not look at myself in the eyes in that mirror like they tell you to do.  It was so uncomfortable.  Now I seek out my eyes right away, sort of like saying hi to an old friend and decide, before starting class, what bullshit I am going to work through and leave on my mat today.

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