Tonight I decided to do a double. Why you ask? I really don't have the foggiest idea. It just sounded like a good idea after taking Sunday and Monday off. I took Dray at 5:30 followed by wonderful Dray again at 7:30. Hey, if I've got to spend 3 hours in a hot room, why not with one of my favorite teachers?
How did it go? Great. It really went great. I went into the first class with the mindset of breathing. I wasn't going to slack off but I wasn't going to go balls to the wall either. You see, that's where I have always had trouble. I'm all or nothing. Black or white. I remember receiving a valentines day card when I was about 10. The very observant little boy awkwardly wrote: "To Michelle....you are fire and ice". Being 10 I was pretty offended because I really didn't know if he was complimenting me or making fun of me. Later, in my adult life, another man told me the same thing.....in those exact words "You are fire and ice. All or nothing." That trait has helped me in some areas but not others. For somebody like me, balance is very hard to obtain. Yet I always seek it. I crave balance. Perhaps that is why I'm so drawn to Bikram yoga. Tonight I found balance. Perfect synchronicity of breath, movement and focus. I had a solid first class. Second class was also fairly solid but I was a little tired. Instead of getting angry with myself I would gently stop, focus on having proper breathing and flow back into the posture, trying to ignore aching muscles. It wasn't any less painful than other doubles, the difference was my attitude toward it. I was more....nurturing. Looking at myself in the mirror I had on my yoga face. No grimaces or glares or frustration. Just me, flowing through that second class and feeling like a million bucks at the end......
