Monday, May 10, 2010

Cleansed by Fire

Today was 6pm with Dray. It's day.....something of my some amount of days of challenge. I'm being vague on purpose. The life changing event is getting in the way of even doing a little 30 day challenge right now. I would have to do 4 doubles to "catch up". Which is an option for me. If I so chose, I can get two of them out of the way this weekend, which quite frankly would be very good for me right now.
When I arrived at the studio tonight it was full of "old" and "new" regulars again. Another one from my old studio (which is no longer a bikram studio) signed up at Westside last night. He was all excited and told me I need to talk Reggi into coming up. She's the last holdout, as the drive is too long for her. We miss her terribly!
When I walked into the room to set my mat down I gasped. It was smokin' hot! I was not in the best mood as I have missed 4 days of yoga last week and the weekend classes I took were tough. Sunday when I raised my arms over my head for half moon they screamed with soreness, which is not normal for me. I slogged my way through that class, feeling tortured. So when I felt the heat tonight I immediately felt a bit fearful that I would again have a tough class. Class started and I felt safe...surrounded by familiar yogi's...Shelley, Tommie, Eddie.....they were all around me, as if the wagons had circled. Three postures in I was already in "slogging my way through" mode again. My body felt like lead and the heat was really getting to me. I tried to ignore my panicked thoughts and just keep breathing. My mind kept going back to all of the stress in my life right now. The "watcher" kept bringing me back into the heat. I felt like metal, being melted and reformed. Tears mingled with sweat when we hit the floor. Jolted by the unexpected rush of emotion I swallowed hard and tried to collect myself. "Just let cleansed by the fire" echoed through my mind. I took a deep breath and melted into the rest of my practice.


  1. Love the title of this post...

  2. You are doing the very best that you can. However much yoga you want to practice is exactly what you need at this moment. It must take a lot of strength to go through the stress; you are so courageous. Sending you good wishes and positive yoga vibes.

  3. Beautiful, lady. It's ok to let it go; good in fact.
    Remember to breathe, and be nice to yourself.

  4. So good to read your posts again, M! What a great metaphor--cleansed by fire. There's always that cleansing feeling, although sometimes it's just way more painful than at other times.