Monday, February 28, 2011

Friday, February 25, 2011

Day 18: Breakthrough

The past few classes have been rough.  The thing that has been blocking me from yoga surfaced last weekend and robbed me of two classes.  So I have two missed classes to make up already.  I panicked, wanted to throw in the towel and felt so frustrated.  But I didn't.  I just went back the very next day and kept going back.  I got my butt kicked in that room everyday this past week since last Sunday (I missed last Fri and Sat).  I just kept going, kept my focus and decided to do my best even if it meant lying flat on my back the last 20 mins (last Mon in John Sal's class!).
The payoff was tonight.  Tonight was 6pm with Sharon.  The room temp was perfect.  The amount of yogi's and their focus was perfect.  Sharon was spot on with her timing and encouragements.  I melted into the class.  Melted into the mirror, into my own eyes, into my sweaty limbs, into my breath that finally was not ragged and uncatchable.  It was one of those classes that truly is a 90 min beautiful moving meditation.
I feel like I just got a massage.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Day 17: Michelle gives Michelle a pep talk

Tonight was 6pm with Marie.  My lunch was sitting in my tummy like a giant ball of lead.  Not a good sign starting off.  I ate too was almost 1:30.  First forward fold I had to come out and then go back in, trying to breathe.  I've never had to do that.  By the time we got to triangle I wanted to take a knee.  I just said to myself "look, you need to do this posture, it will help burn off that ball of lead in your tummy.  Sitting out you miss that opportunity, now suck it up!"  So I did...suck it up and complete the standing series without missing anything.  Spine series was not fun but I did the best I could given my discomfort.  When it was all over I was so glad I was able to be my own cheerleader and get through.  It felt great!

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Day 15: An old friend

Tonight was 6pm with Marie.  Class was hot, humid, hard....typical Marie.  I like to refer to her as "Satan in a Sunday Hat".  Because she's little and cute and has this really sweet voice.....then she kills you in that room....all the while still sounding cute.  You have to work for it in her class.  I was such a mess that I actually fell backward in triangle and ended up sitting on my butt in shock.  I got up and got back in, but falling backward out of triangle, that was a first for me!
When I first started this blog I used to write about my friend Reggi.  Her and I were there everyday at 5:30.  There was a core group of us that I referred to as "the regulars" and we had alot of fun.  When I left that studio (it became a non bikram studio, offering other hot yoga and hot pilates now too), Reggi stayed behind.  Tonight she showed up at Bikram Westside and bought a 3 month pass!  She's going to go back and forth between the two studios for awhile.  Oh boy was I excited!  Her and I have alot of catching up to do.  And it was awesome to practice next to her again, even while getting killed!

Monday, February 21, 2011

Day 14:What is it about Johnny?

Johnny Salvatore.  An awesome teacher.  Other teachers go to his class.  Seriously, this guy is amazing,  I've only been able to take his class 3 times now because he teaches Monday at 11 and 1 at my studio and I'm normally at work.  So today I went to his 1pm class.
I about puked in my mouth.
I was flat on my back the last 20 mins.
I couldn't move.
I was so sick, it was unbelievable.
This has happened to me 2 out of the 3 times I've taken his class.
I have no idea.  Now I feel compelled to take a vacation day on a Monday and try this again.  I will not be flat on my back.  I will complete his class!  I've had tough classes, tough teachers, hot rooms, all sorts of challenging conditions.  So what is it about his class????

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Day 10: Ran out of Gas....

Today was 6pm with Michael.  I was feeling kinda "blah" walking in the door and tried to keep an open mind about class.  No expectations either way.  I pretty much got my butt kicked right off the bat.  I tried to focus on breathing and just keep up but I was exhausted by triangle.  Interestingly enough, I didn't take a knee.  I was so tired that I felt like it would be more effort to kneel down and get back up rather than just "hang out" in the posture w/out pushing to my edge.  By the time we got to the floor I could feel my energy waning.  Usually that halftime 2 min savasana is my gas station.  I get more energy laying there and can usually recover from a tough standing series.   Not tonight.  There was no gas to be had from the station and the needle dropped below E by the time I was on the second to last posture.  Like a wind up doll on it's last leg I could barely execute the final few postures.  When it was over I was extremely grateful that I made it.  I dug deep and finished.  What a great feeling!

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Day 9: Disconnect

Tonight was 6pm with Dray.  It was one of those classes where you all of the sudden go "wait, what, we are in half moon already?  Did I do both sets of pranayama breathing with everybody??"  I just wasn't fully present.  I kept yanking myself back into the room during standing series but floor series my mind checked out again.  I made it through the class, I don't think I did anything weird (gosh I hope not!) and felt good when it was over.  Laying in final savasana I could hear the wind whipping around outside.  As I was leaving it almost blew me down the stairs.  "Power" I thought to myself.  Most of the time Las Vegas weather is pretty innocuous.  It makes me miss the fierce east coast weather of my childhood.  Thunder storms, wind, snow, can feel natures power.  Here in the desert, it's easy to forget.  The wind pushed me along to my car and just like that I was fully present again, the disconnect was gone.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Day 8: Feelin' Frisky.....

Tonight was 6pm with mr. tall, dark and handsome...Michael.  Class was amazing!
I can't believe I stayed away from Bikram for so long.  My body, mind, emotions and spirit have been asleep and I didn't even realize it.  It's only day 8 and I'm already waking up....especially my body.
My body feels like this:
Now if my outsides matched my insides we'd have a problem.  Single men in a five mile radius would need to run tonight.....

Monday, February 14, 2011

The Wife Beater

Today was day 7.  After missing, well, pretty much a year of my bikram yoga practice, it's been pretty tough trying to convince myself to get back in the saddle.  Last year after my aborted attempt at the 101 day challenge I fell off the radar.  Not just with blogging but with yoga, and with life.
So back to mat I go.  I've been wanting to come back, but something was blocking me.  I still have not figured out what that block was, but it seems to have been removed.  Now that the block  has been lifted I feel like a dog, joyously riding in the car, head out the window, tongue lolling out and eyes partially closed.   Ahhh!
The first few days back were me getting used to what I can no longer do in the postures due to my excess weight (look at my profile pic and add 27 pounds, that's me right now).  What I can't do in the postures does not bother me at all, it's more like taking inventory mentally so when I start to improve I can celebrate it.  I know what my body is capable of and I look forward to taking the poor car back out of the garage!
So, the first milestone in this challenge will be the removal of "the wife beater".  You see, I used to wear hardly any clothes to yoga.  Now, self conscious about my weight, I've got layers on, ending in the long tank top, aka "wife beater" over the sports bra.  I realize that nobody in that room would care if I took it off now.  They are not paying any attention to me and are there for themselves.  But I just can't do it.  Not yet.


I've already blown the whistle on myself in twitter.  Also, I will need to blog, because it helps me get through.  What am I talking about?
A challenge.
I'm on day 7.......
Will post tonight after class.