Monday, June 7, 2010
Day 4: Resistance
Today was 6pm with Dray. I pulled up to the studio, knowing my two yoga bff's were not going to be there. I trudged up the stairs with the hot desert wind buffeting my body. This past weekend and today Las Vegas has seen temperatures upwards of 110. I set up for class feeling drained from my brief interaction with the intense heat. I chatted with regular Joe before class and told him "I'm not feelin' it today!" Once we got in there, the mental chatter kicked into high gear. "I'm tired. My calves are still sore. I don't want to be here today. My limbs feel stiff and heavy" Once the mental chatter started it was all I could do to stay put on my mat. In addition to the mental chatter I couldn't balance at all. I couldn't even balance in first part of standing head to knee. I shook my head in disgust after falling out several times, judging myself harshly. I caught myself doing this and reminded myself not to judge, to just be in this practice and try to stop resisting. By the time I got to triangle I was a bit more focused and was able to stay present and finish without too much more drama. Toward the end of class, I started to feel so grateful that I was able to come when I didn't want to and stay when I wanted to run. I was happy that I am doing a challenge or else I may have missed today. Then I heard Dray say "the worst Bikram class is the one you don't go to". And that little nugget was the best thing I heard all day!