Day 3: I started without you

I'm going to do a 30 day challenge. The first few challenges I did, I completed them successfully. Then I had a couple of challenges that fell short. Two attempts at 101 that didn't quite make it. One fell short by just a couple of days. What I've realized is this, combined with a very difficult life change this year has chipped away at my self esteem. I'm gaining weight again, I'm not my normal sunny self. I have pushed away some friends because I prefer to sulk around in solitude. I'm grateful though. Grateful that I recognize all of this and even more grateful that I have someplace to put all of this....right smack dab in the middle of my yoga mat. I've been going 5 times a week to yoga for the most part, but it's not the same. No frequency of Bikram feels the same as doing a challenge.
I decided all of this on Friday and that makes today day 3. In the first 3 days of this challenge, I've already had two very interesting classes. The first was Friday night at 6pm. We had a visiting teacher named Caroline from Headquarters. She is a lovely lady who attended Bikrams first TT, prior to the "dialog" being around. She's an older lady with a glowing spirit. I adored her class. Even though she's not up there doing verbatim dialog, her instructions are precise. She's also got an eagle eye for form and corrections. She was engaging with the students. It was so much fun! Saturday morning was 9am with Frank. My friend Shelley met me down there, or I never would have gone that early. I hate morning classes...anything prior to 11 is Satan in a Sunday hat. And it was. Satan in a Sunday hat. My body was so stiff and so heavy it felt like I accidentally stumbled into the studio with somebody else's body entirely. I really had to pay attention to form and throw all of my normal depth out of the window. It just wasn't going to happen, with anything. In fact, I stood there in tree while everybody eles was going into toestand. My body just felt like there was no way in hell it was going to be able to execute a posture I attempt daily. Frank called me out on it "Mish, what are you doing, don't you normally go into toe stand? Get down there!" I ignored him (sorry Frank!).
Last but not least....day 3 (today) 1pm with LYNN WHITLOW. For those of you who are regular Bikram addicts, you probably have heard of Lynn. She is a senior teacher who does seminars and is a bit of a rockstar in the Bikram community. I took her class last time she was here out at the Green Valley studio. You can read about it here. It was pretty brutal. I'll sum it up this way: I sat out half of that class. Ok, so going in today I made sure I was hydrated to the max. Plenty of sleep (check), proper food and water (check), electrolytes in balance (check). I lay my mat down and looked around. Lots of teachers and also Big G from the Green Valley studio. The class was HOT and HARD but I made it through pretty well. Not awesome. Just pretty well. I sat out one set of triangle and had trouble first set of camel. There were only two newbies in the class and I felt bad for them because there is just something about Lynn. Her class is just tough. She's not yelling, she's not holding you in a posture for a bizarre amount of time...it's just very tough. I cannot figure out what it is about her class. Afterwards, sitting in the lobby eating watermelon courtesy of another *very smart* yogi, we talked about that concept. Why is Lynn so dang tough? The yogi who brought the watermelon said "she just makes is sound probable and possible and you just do it". I think that is right, the way she explains things is so matter of fact and her dialog rhythm lends to "just do it".
Good advice. Just do it. I'm gonna "just do" this 30 day challenge.