day 121 class 113: home sweet home

I walked into the studio tonight excited and scared all at once. Like a distant lover, I have forsaken Bikram for FIVE days. Yup. That's right. FIVE days. I am soft in the middle. The scale is MAD. I was in So. Cal to watch my best friend from high school/college get married on the beach. With perfect weather. It was incredible. We had so much fun this past weekend I cannot even begin to describe. It just confirms that I work to live, not live to work.

So back to yoga. I was so happy to see Reggi. We talked a ton before class. A friend from work also showed up, for his second class ever. He called me today: "I went to Bikram Thurs night and it was tough, but for some strange reason, I want to go back today". I think he will be addicted. :)

Oksana taught and kept the class on the cool side. Surprisingly, I felt flexible, my yoga body showed up. I was so shocked! I couldn't balance very well, but I did not judge, just observe. Oh how I missed Bikram yoga! I am so happy to be back home....

Day 23: Oh Angry Me!

In a blather.  Angry.  Pissed.  I didn't start off that way....

Tonight was 530 with manager of the studio Mark....cool english accent and very strict Mark.  No, he's not the one I was angry at.  In fact, he taught a nice class and even called me out by name with a couple of adjustments to push me a bit.  No, he wasn't the problem at all.

The floor series was great.  I was fine.  Until 2 minute savasana between standing and floor series.  That's when it started.  Heavy heavy breathing from the guy to the left of me.  Don't get me wrong, I didn't fly off the handle as soon as I heard it.  I pretty much try to ignore what's going on around me, because I know everybody has their own struggles and has off days.  At first I figured he was just winded from the standing series and was trying to calm down.  Boy was I wrong.  He did this very deep very loud heavy breathing the whole two minutes.  As we all laid there his breathing just got louder and louder and louder.  By the end of the two minutes I wanted to literally scream "shut up!" at him and then bolt from the room in frustration.  It took all of my inner resolve to lay there and be quiet.  It was insanely loud.  Like a cross between somebody who just sprinted a mile with a bunch of muggers chasing them and somebody in a deep sleep about to snore loudly.  He continued this heavy loud breathing through the entire floor series.  After camel is when I really was pissed.  I was laying there just mad.  I did glance over at him a couple of times like "WTF dude?" but he was off in his own world, oblivious to the fact that he was breathing louder than 40 people combined.

Anyway, I write all of the because on the drive home I realized this wasn't about him at all, but about me.  I am not an angry person, hardly ever feel the emotion of anger.  Disappointment yes, sadness, yes, hurt feelings, yes....but anger, not so much.  The last time I did a 60 day challenge I ran the gamut of all emotions.  It really brings crap up and out.  The important thing is it brings it OUT.

Sitting here at home, showered up, relaxed and typing this I'm not angry at all anymore, in fact the feeling I have right now is more like....amusement.