On a very positive note there are great things going on this weekend. I get to attend Mei's teacher training graduation Saturday, go to a yogi Christmas party Saturday night and next week take a road trip with Mei to go meet fellow blogger Dancing J in person for the first time. I feel so very blessed to have wonderful people coming into my life via this blog. Mei, Greg and soon Dancing J will all be wonderful yogi's I have been fortunate enough to meet in real life via this blog. I bet all of this fun stuff will pull me right off of my little hamster wheel.....
Thursday, December 3, 2009
A Hamster on a wheel
Tonight was 530 with Dray. I have been weird this week with my practice. A night off. Then a double. Then another night off. I'm all over the place. I had to drag myself there tonight. Literally, drag myself kicking and screaming. Why? I am not normally like this. I have been practicing for over 2 and 1/2 years, have done 3 60 day challenges and one where I hit 99 out of 101 days. Hey, I'm bikramyogachick! The one who is pretty consistent, quite frankly might be bat shit insane about yoga. So my disinterest this week is strange. In fact, I feel blah about many areas of my life right now. I've completely thrown in the towel with dating and am making no effort whatsoever in that arena. I have turned that part of myself off, as I am just completely disgusted with past disasters and cannot get even remotely excited about the thought of going through the whole process, only to get hurt yet again. I really feel like I'm just on some strange sort of hamster wheel, running to stand still in many areas of life and not being able to get any sort of enthusiasm whatsoever. I know this will pass. So it's interesting to just acknowledge that I feel like this right now, not try to fix it and just go with it.