Thursday, December 3, 2009

A Hamster on a wheel

Tonight was 530 with Dray. I have been weird this week with my practice. A night off. Then a double. Then another night off. I'm all over the place. I had to drag myself there tonight. Literally, drag myself kicking and screaming. Why? I am not normally like this. I have been practicing for over 2 and 1/2 years, have done 3 60 day challenges and one where I hit 99 out of 101 days. Hey, I'm bikramyogachick! The one who is pretty consistent, quite frankly might be bat shit insane about yoga. So my disinterest this week is strange. In fact, I feel blah about many areas of my life right now. I've completely thrown in the towel with dating and am making no effort whatsoever in that arena. I have turned that part of myself off, as I am just completely disgusted with past disasters and cannot get even remotely excited about the thought of going through the whole process, only to get hurt yet again. I really feel like I'm just on some strange sort of hamster wheel, running to stand still in many areas of life and not being able to get any sort of enthusiasm whatsoever. I know this will pass. So it's interesting to just acknowledge that I feel like this right now, not try to fix it and just go with it.
On a very positive note there are great things going on this weekend. I get to attend Mei's teacher training graduation Saturday, go to a yogi Christmas party Saturday night and next week take a road trip with Mei to go meet fellow blogger Dancing J in person for the first time. I feel so very blessed to have wonderful people coming into my life via this blog. Mei, Greg and soon Dancing J will all be wonderful yogi's I have been fortunate enough to meet in real life via this blog. I bet all of this fun stuff will pull me right off of my little hamster wheel.....


  1. Too funny. I think I am in the same funk this week. We will snap each other out of it next week, for sure!!!

  2. and I was going to ask you out on a date....

  3. J~ Yes we will! Nobody can be blue around both you and Mei! This will be just what the dr. ordered!
    Gregory~Oh dear! And I had thrown in the towel! **bends over, retrieves towel, folds it back up** :)

  4. Sometimes it is nice to be in a hamster wheel, troddeling a long, then it is good to once in a while get kicked out of it to see if you are ready to leave your wheel so you wont stay there forever. But thats won't happen!

  5. No matter how bad it may seem, you are moving forward. Believe me, I have to remind myself of that sometimes too.

  6. Ohhh, we are going through the same thing this week
    In my case, I know it's my mind playing tricks 'cause I am almost done with my challenge ( =last minute resistance)

    LOL @ your *bends over, retrieves towel, folds it back up** how cute!!! I think BYchick deserves a BYchamp. I am sure he is out there somewhere :)

    I read one of Mei's postings. She is so funny!! Have fun you all!!

  7. aHappyYogi~ as long as the wheel doesn't eventually spit me out and run me over!
    Greg~ I'm movin' a glacier! LOL
    cirita~ Mei is so funny! Can't wait to hear her tt stories! I hope you are right about the BYchamp :)

  8. Every single one of us has those feelings from time to time. You are not alone BYC. I don't think anyone is immune to funky feeling weeks. They suck. Yup. When I have one I always say "I can't find my smile" and my friends & family just know. When I'm having one of THOSE weeks I always make sure to call or text someone I know who always makes me laugh. He's a great friend and always knows how to put a smile on my face. We use to date and now are just good friends ummm I think just friends? Little confusing actually ;). So try to pick that person that makes you smile. Find your postive touchstone.
    Something else that makes me feel great is to do something for someone "just because". I've helped an elderly to her car and loaded groceries in her trunk, paid for the person behind me at Starbucks, simply asked someone how their day is going, or even as easy as giving someone one of those produce bags that are such a bitch to open and open it for them. Doing good things makes US feel good. Wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all better for you. Just remember, we need to have not so good days to really appreciate the magical moments in life. HUGS from the East Coast!!!!!

  9. Traci~ I originally hail from the east coast (vermont) and have decided that someday, somehow you and I must meet IRL and practice together! :)