Today was day 100.
I did not do my double, in fact, I did not go to yoga at all. I wrote a post explaining why (some of you have read it already) and I received a "talking to" from my voice of reason. The voice of reason tells me to never apologize for who I am. She reminds me that I am worth having all of my dreams come true. She is the voice that reminds me that I am the prize, and that I am worth it, more than worth it. She reminds me who I am when I forget, when I allow sadness to settle deep into my bones.
She pulls me back into the light....my light, the one that burns brightly from my core.
I am going to yoga tonight, because I want to. I look forward to tossing my mat down on that floor and returning to me.
Thanks for the comments on the other post. The support I receive from this Bikram Blogging community is awesome!
Of course you didn't fail, sweetie. And your friend is right, you don't need to apologize for anything.
ReplyDeleteYou succeeded at doing 98 yoga classes in 100 days, for one thing.
And that is the least of what you have accomplished and learned.
And it's only the beginning. :)
You didn't fail!!! Oh my goodness---quite the opposite, really. You practiced a hell of a lot of yoga. You embarked on writing this blog. (And you met new blog friends because of it.) You discovered new tendencies and abilities in your practice. You crossed oh so many physical and mental hurdles, day after day. And on, and on...
ReplyDeleteI firmly agree we each need to collapse, to fall, to sit on our heels and sob when we hurt. Acknowledge the pain, take a deep breath, and begin to move past it. That's what they tell us in the hot room, right? I know about the heart hurting---yoga helped heal mine. I hope the same for you, Michelle.
In the meantime, let's just keep blogging and practicing our asses off! :)
We are definitely human! Move forward with your wonderful struggle of yoga, life, and love. You have a lot to look forward to my friend!
ReplyDeleteVery proud of you!!!
Cheers!
Some things are worse than failure.
ReplyDeleteWill.
Yes, you failed to reach the 100 day goal. Of course, the goal was arbitrary. If you wanted, you could now say your goal was 120, and probably get in the two doubles beforehand.
ReplyDeleteOf course, I failed in my 100 day challenge as well. I didn't even get to 98. And I don't think it mattered.
Between day 60 and day 90 something, it dawned on me that the number of days really didn't matter at all. What matters is going frequently, consistently, and always making an honest effort during class. Everything else is just keeping score, and yoga is not about keeping score.
dancingj: I suppose I am harder on myself than anyone else would ever be. it is a beginning, becuase now I know everyday yoga should always be my goal as much as possible! :)
ReplyDeletehannah: there was alot of sobbing and sitting on heels. I've done this enough times to know it will pass, and the only way past the pain is thru it. Still sucks though!
Reggi (voice of reason): thank you. for everything.
Will: good point.
Duffy: Alas, I could not have said that any better. You are right, it's not about keeping score. It now is just something else I do, like brushing my teeth. I can't wait to get back on my mat tonight. Back home.
The blog says 60 day challenge! You went over about 39 days.
ReplyDelete