Day 96: Something leaves, something comes back

Today was 730 with Connie.  Last class of the day, pretty sparse attendance.  But a few regulars, no newbies and a nice energy.  I saw Reggi, she was leaving the 530 and I was jealous she was done already.  I took a day off work and hung out with my mom, so I couldn't make it any earlier and literally dragged myself kicking and screaming to yoga tonight.

My yoga body left.  My mental block came back.  I did NOT want to go.  I FORCED myself to go.  Once on the mat my body was stiff, misaligned, foreign.  I was not comfortable in it tonight.  Connie came over to me during set up for standing bow and she just dropped her hand down in alignment with my hip on the kicking leg so that I was forced to kick it straight back or I would touch her hand.  And guess what.  I have not been kicking straight back!  So when I did tonight it felt totally different I could not get near as far in and my calf muscle started to cramp right away, like it used to in the beginning.  whoa!  I was like "oh crap, this sucks, now if I really pay attention to this and try to fix it it's like I'm starting over and I was just making progress!!"  I'm surprised my mind didn't add a whiny little "waaaaa!" at the end of that silly little litany of self pity.  Put the ego aside and do it the right way!  So I have something new to work on.  That's the beauty of the yoga, we always will be fine tuning, adjusting, fixing, working, stretching, growing, learning.  Now off to bed so I can get up and do it all over again less than 12 hours later.  Ugh.  I'm exhausted today.  Mentally, physically, emotionally, I'm just drained.  It's been a rough week.