Monday, May 4, 2009

Day 99: We knew it was going to be ugly....

Today was 530 with Roberta.  Reggi and I were cutting up in the locker room about her double last Saturday.  She was electrolyte challenged the second class and cramped up like crazy, did the lobster claw thing.  So she's demonstrating for me how she was all hunched over and cramped up, limping out of the room saying "I'll be right back" to Anastashia.  Only hardcore Bikram yoga people can get a kick out of stuff like that.  We are a strange little bunch I tell ya.  Anyway, I'm gearing up for my double tomorrow night to finish off the 100 with a bang and I see that Roberta was teaching tonight.  I thought to myself, thank God she's teaching tonight and not tomorrow night.  I can't afford to get my ass kicked during the 530 class tomorrow.  Reggi and I go in the room to lay our mats down and get hit with a wet blast of humidity.  We walk back out and give each other the hairy eyeball and immediately get all serious.  Reggi just says, in her very matter of fact voice "It's gonna be ugly".  I nod in agreement, looking forward to it a little bit.  I say that because when a class is that bad, it always get my mind of whatever is plaguing me.  So I welcomed it.  Little did I know.
We get in there.  It's pretty crowded and there are 7 first timers.  During the first breathing exercise I'm already dripping like rain.  Not just a sheen of sweat, getting warmed up, I'm raining by the end of second set.  Half moon posture, second set, all of the sudden I start to struggle to breathe.  My lungs felt like they were trying to suck air out of wet sponges.  I almost panicked.  My eyes frantically move around the room, checking out the other yogis.  It's only the first posture, they are hanging in there.  Not so by eagle.  I hear gasps, mouths open, I see people falling out, looking down at the floor, trying to recover already!  I was a little relieved that it wasn't just me, because I was really having a hard time!  She straight kicked our asses.  By the time we got to standing bow, hardly anybody could get into it, much less hold it.  People were hitting their knees left and right and many just standing there, dripping, like wet noodles, unable to even pick their legs up.  I kept trying to get into my posture, but I was weak.   By balancing stick I was seeing black spots and swaying on my feet, I had to take a knee for a minute.  Brutal!  After class we all stagger out, looking like complete and utter yoga carnage.  A regular, Mark (not teacher Mark), is standing at the front counter getting a towel and I walk up to him, hip bump him and say "hey, how about that class!".  He looks at me and says "who is she!"  I was like "I know! That was rough!".  Young Patrick was at the front desk so I raise my hand in our universal "zico me" sign and he tosses one my direction.  Frank was behind the desk too, so I wander over to him and say "that was really bad, you need to be gentle with us tomorrow night when you teach 530 because I have to do a double".  He just gave me a big grin (oh boy, I may have just set myself up there and not in a good way!) and I wandered off to the locker room, contemplating my Frank/Oksana double slated for tomorrow night.  Funny it worked out that way, because the last double I did was the exact same setup, Frank/Oksana.  Hopefully I will fare better this time around.  I've got electrolyte enhanced water from TJ's (one and a half liters) all set to bring to work tomorrow to drink, and a packet of emergen-C type stuff at my desk that I will drink around 4 to prepare.  I'll do a zico in between classes, and eat a banana in the afternoon for a snack.  It's overboard compared to what I do for one class, so maybe it will help me this time around, as I did not do any of that last double.  Just prepared like I would for one class last time.
Wish me luck!  


  1. HAHAHAHAHA!!! I never laughed so hard on our cuttin up in the locker room! That was classic Mich!! Thank God for you and keeping the humor in our beautiful struggle! Luv ya! And it begins again tomorrow! See you then!

  2. I think you have an idea how much I like Bikram. But I still don't understand why some teachers make a fetish out of the heat. There's a difference between challenging people and wiping them out.

    If you happen to notice, I'd love to hear whether any of the newbies come back.

  3. Reggi~ you are my daily dose of humor and the "voice of reason". You keep me sane and I am so blessed to have found you through this amazing yoga!
    Duffy~ I agree. With 7 new people in the house that was not the time to roast us out like that. They all stayed in the room though! I was shocked. I told them (all females) in the locker room afterwards that it was abnomrally hot and front row people dropping like flies is a good indication something is wrong. They were relieved. I sincerely hope they try again! Man that was brutal! I am quaking in my boots about my double tonight after that trainwreck! Let's hope Frank is gentle with us!

  4. I second Duffy. I DO NOT GET---yes, all caps!!---teachers that go so heavy and hard on the heat within the first 15 minutes of class. Whyyyyyyy?!

    As for your double tonight, good luck!!! When I do doubles, I usually do a morning and then a night class; only once have I done the back-to-back. Can't wait to hear how it goes! :)

  5. I think you're in the midst of your 100th class right now. So, CONGRATULATIONS! By the time you read this you will have finished 101 days of yoga! Holy hell! That's impressive. No matter how the 101st class goes, you did it. Way to go, lady! I'm drinking a toast to you tonight at dinner.


  6. Alright, it's Tuesday night!! Hope you are still alive right now!!! :-D :-D