Day 113: Letting Go

Day 113.  I've done 110 classes in 113 days.  Why am I still counting? I don't know.  I have a little white macbook and each night, as I relax in jammies and glasses, my cat purring happily on my bed,  the ceiling fan whirring softly, my little white ipod nano set on shuffle in the background, I update the calendar app on my laptop.  A "red" entry for yoga just like this:  Day 113: 530 Oksana Class 110.  I have no plans to "catch up" (that's 3 doubles).  On the flip side, I don't have any plans to throw in the towel, or give up, either.  I'm no longer doing a challenge, but for some reason, I diligently count my classes contentedly updating that calendar imagining that someday my "days" and "classes" might be equal.  Perhaps at 200?  250?  Who knows.  What counts is the blessed consistency I have found with my practice.  It feels great!

Post challenge nothing has changed, no exciting things have happened.  My studio continues to be a great source of comedy, comfort and pleasure for me.  I have thrown myself into my work with renewed vigor and zeal.  I've been at the same job for 14 years and suddenly, the past month, I have been infused with such extreme gratitude for that job and that company and passion that had flattened out came back with a vengeance.  Aside from two upcoming "mini trips" my social life is quiet.  It's quiet by design.  I have come to a place where nothing matters except my daughter, my work, my yoga and close friends/family.  I feel free, content, unencumbered.  Like leaves falling gently from a tree, ideas, thoughts, expectations and behaviors have started to fall by the wayside for me.  I have not had any epiphany's or huge moments of clarity.  Just more of a feeling of being tired of holding onto things that no longer serve me and the more time I spend in that hot room, the more leaves that float gently down, down, down.....