Post challenge nothing has changed, no exciting things have happened. My studio continues to be a great source of comedy, comfort and pleasure for me. I have thrown myself into my work with renewed vigor and zeal. I've been at the same job for 14 years and suddenly, the past month, I have been infused with such extreme gratitude for that job and that company and passion that had flattened out came back with a vengeance. Aside from two upcoming "mini trips" my social life is quiet. It's quiet by design. I have come to a place where nothing matters except my daughter, my work, my yoga and close friends/family. I feel free, content, unencumbered. Like leaves falling gently from a tree, ideas, thoughts, expectations and behaviors have started to fall by the wayside for me. I have not had any epiphany's or huge moments of clarity. Just more of a feeling of being tired of holding onto things that no longer serve me and the more time I spend in that hot room, the more leaves that float gently down, down, down.....
Monday, May 18, 2009
Day 113: Letting Go
Day 113. I've done 110 classes in 113 days. Why am I still counting? I don't know. I have a little white macbook and each night, as I relax in jammies and glasses, my cat purring happily on my bed, the ceiling fan whirring softly, my little white ipod nano set on shuffle in the background, I update the calendar app on my laptop. A "red" entry for yoga just like this: Day 113: 530 Oksana Class 110. I have no plans to "catch up" (that's 3 doubles). On the flip side, I don't have any plans to throw in the towel, or give up, either. I'm no longer doing a challenge, but for some reason, I diligently count my classes contentedly updating that calendar imagining that someday my "days" and "classes" might be equal. Perhaps at 200? 250? Who knows. What counts is the blessed consistency I have found with my practice. It feels great!