Tonight was 5pm with Erika. My heart just wasn't in it tonight. I had an OK class, but I felt like I was just going through the motions. This past Saturday I had my first Reiki session with Misha. Since that session, I've felt very introspective. You see, the first 30 days of this challenge was a very strange sort of physical suffering for me. The last 23 days have been mental. Why I am doing this? I've done 99 days, three or four 60 day challenges and a couple of 30's. What does this mean anymore? Why am I blogging still? I've been writing in this little space for two years now. Sometimes I feel like I'm writing posts that have already been written by me in previous challenges. Sometimes I feel like I'm saying too much on this public space and sometimes I say too little because I'm all out of things to talk about.
Misha is leaving for Europe and then she's on staff for teacher training, so no more Reiki sessions. However, she suggested I journal. So I'm going to do just that. I'm going to spend the next week getting these doubles (three of them!) off my back and I'm going to privately journal. I'm turning inward for awhile. Not quitting the challenge by any means! I will still do Bikram everyday, make up my three missed classes, read your blogs, cheer you on from the comments section and soon enough, I'll be back home to my blog to let you know how I'm doing!
**I need a volunteer (or volunteers) to cover for me on the group blog for three posts (this Wednesday, this Saturday and next Wednesday). If you are interested please email: bikram101challenge (at) gmail.com
The Reiki sounds interesting. Maybe it's bringing up a lot of stuff for you that's reflected in the lull of the practice. I've never done a challenge, so I can only imagine--it must be normal to go through peaks and valleys.
ReplyDeleteDon't stop blogging!!!
Journaling is great. I still do it.
ReplyDeleteBlogging is fun, but like everything else we do, TOO MUCH IS NO GOOD!! Once-a-day blogging is a LOT of blogging. For me, 2-4 times a week is just about perfect. Gives me the space to collect my thoughts, pull a main idea together, and keep as much privacy as I need. It's like the tourniquet effect/water pressure analogy - you've gotta give the ideas time to build up and gather force before you let them out! That's my philosophy, for what it's worth. :)
Go with what feels best for you. Don't feel like the pressure is there to keep going at something you are losing passion for. It will just take away even more of your will to do it.
ReplyDeleteI agree with J, a daily blog is a lot to stay on top of. It's hard to have fresh ideas each day.
You know I am a BIG fan of blog breaks!!!
ReplyDeleteI think taking a step back and giving yourself some breathing room and thinking space is an awesome idea. Of course you're still out there practicing your yoga and living your life. We know this. So don't worry about us. Take care of you. :)
i'll miss your blog, but i understand about needing a break. i've been struggling to find my voice here lately. i think i'm feeling the mental exhaustion typical during this leg of the challenge. i think it's good to just go with what you're feeling though. give yourself the time and space you need. :)
ReplyDeleteGood for you! There are days when I think I can do the yoga or I can blog but I can't do both! May your time away from us be fruitful!
ReplyDelete*hug*
Hey lady - I'll be thinking of you this week while we both slog through life/yoga :) Enjoy your blogging break and don't be too hard on yourself. And I will try to take my own advice.
ReplyDeleteAlso thanks so much for all of the comments you've left on my blog lately. I so appreciate all of the support!
xoxo
wow, I felt like I was the only one who was feeling this way too. And after reading some of the other comments, I agree that sometimes it's best to take a breather from the writing and step away to gain perspective, great ideas don't come everyday. That is why I now take a couple days away, then come back and write. I totally understand classes where you are looking at yourself and feeling like a robot, going through the motions can be sometimes the toughest classes. Just try to remember why you started this yoga, my challenge has continued and I have people ask me "why?" and some days I look blankly at them, shrug and say I love it , do I need another reason?
ReplyDeleteHey girl. You blog when you want about what you want. I used to journal all the time and it certainly can be useful to dig at the internal stuff, some of which is highly personal. Writing is also kinetic in a way that typing is not and for me creates a different atmosphere on the page.
ReplyDeleteYou know where to find me if you need to "talk". :)
Sometimes it will be too much of the good stuff.
ReplyDeleteYou take care of yourself!
Hugs!
Oh bummer! I had just discovered you via bikramanda, had just started a blog TODAY (!) and was liking your comments but completely understand what you're saying! Look forward to seeing you actively blogging again!
ReplyDelete