Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Day 25: Guilty by association

Today was 5:30 with Roberta.  Reggi, Mark, Amanda and I chatted in the lobby, trying to mentally prepare ourselves for the ass kicking we knew we were about to receive.  Roberta is our adorable "brazilian bombshell I'm going to kick your ass and roast you out of the room with a smile" teacher.  You've got to bring your A game when you show up for Robertas class.  
We all went into the room, maybe one minute before class was to start.  The heaters and humidifiers were going full force.  We knelt down on our mats and gave each other the hairy eyeball look that said "crap, we are in for it".  The door opened a few more times to let other yogis in, each of them muttering "shit" or some other even worse obscenity under their breath as they came in and felt the blast of moist blazing heat.  
By half moon I knew I was a lost cause.  It took all I could do to keep my arms up, sweat dripping into my panic stricken eyes.  My left foot went numb.  I fidgeted between sets and during second back bend saw gray and white spots and had to come out early for fear of toppling over.  Oh dear.  Awkward starts and my mind sounded something like this :  "Ok, just don't go down all of the way.  Conserve your energy.  Are you breathing?  Shit, your breathing is raggedy already!  Did she just call out poor Mark again?  Oh boy, don't call me out, please don't call me out.  Crap, I still can't feel my left foot.  Second part of awkward, damn, I can't get up on my toes, they are rolling out.  Oh shit, sweat is going in my eyes again, keep your arms up damnit!  Wait, you are in your head too much! Shut the hell up and listen and breathe!......"
You get the picture.  It was UGLY.   I hit the deck a few times in standing series, a hot sweaty dizzy numb mess.  By the time we hit the floor, Mark had to leave....to almost throw up.  A few postures later I could not feel my hands either and I knew my electrolytes were screwed and that I was about to lobster claw up.  I staggered up, water bottle in hand to go get emergen-c.  I was called out of course as I was leaving, but alas, I couldn't muster the courage to just stay and cramp up.   While I was gone, I found out later that Roberta teased Mark, giving him a hard time saying it was his fault that I left.  Then she said "Reggi, don't even think about it!".  In the lobby after class, Mark, Reggi, Pam and I were cracking up as they told me that.  Reggi said "I was just minding my own business!"   Mark laughed and said, "damn girl, you were guilty by association!!"
Classic.  I love this yoga.  It's times like this, when we can stand around and laugh about the hot sweaty beating, joined together in shared agony that makes me adore my studio....the awesome instructors and amazing yoga buddies.  Can't wait to see what tomorrow brings!


  1. Do you ever wonder/worry if your teacher is cranking the heat/humidity TOO high?? The teachers here in Boston have definitely scaled back this summer, I think partially because of the natural heat/humidity outside and because, I suspect, regular practitioners spoke with the owners about decidedly over-the-top classes during which half the room was either on the floor or out in the lobby.

    I go so back and forth on this issue. Part of me understands that breathing through the discomfort and pain of a tough, hot class is part of the yoga. You test your boundaries, you learn from the experience; I get it. But, then, another part of me really doesn't understand the thinking behind boiling a room to such an extreme that people are puking, leaving, collapsing, etc., you know??


  2. Hannah~ I go back and forth with this alot as well! Sometimes I think "holy shit, did I just stumble into teacher training!" and other times I wonder if I'm just being a baby because I got spoiled by a not so hot room three days in a row. It's so hard to gauge!
    Ha! I feel a new post coming on "to roast or not to roast".

  3. My favorite part about this story is how you all got brutally slaughtered and then were just laughing at it like 30 minutes later. THAT'S the spirit!!! :)