Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Day 94: Cruise Control

Today was 530 with Oksana.
Reggi and I waited patiently in the lobby for class to start talking quietly for once.  A regular, who we love to call "wild Bill" walked in and we hailed him from across the room.  He gave us a shit eatin grin and came over to join us in our pre class conversation.  
Although I was suffering from a stress induced mild headache,   it was one of those practices where I felt like I had my "yoga body".  You know, strong, flexible, lithe limbs, flowing in and out of postures, breath coming with ease.  Due to my stress, my balance was not that great, I fell out quite a bit, but I just got right back in, unruffled, unfazed.  My mind was unable to let go today, there was too much on it.  But instead of working against me, it's almost like I was spaced out, on cruise control, the body working while the mind tried to sift through a bunch of crap.   I really hate the aftermath of breakups.  Even if they are necessary.  They just suck.  The goodbye, now return the stuff, now let it sink in that they are not in your life, nor are you in theirs, and that the caring that was there has been drained and sucked dry by the harsh ending.  In fact, as I'm sitting here typing this, the mild headache lingers, and I NEVER get headaches.  Argh!  But I've never been negative nancy.  No, that is not me.  I'm optimistic, full of light and love, positive....hopeful.  So yes, even in the aftermath, hope still springs eternal.   Time heals all wounds, of that I am sure.  Only because I've been around 38 whole years now and have experienced the healing of time on a heart over and over again.  Oh, and trips!  Trips help heal hearts too!  I've got two trips coming up in the next month and a half, both to sunny southern California for a wedding, bonding time with girlfriends and time spent at the beach, breathing in the ocean air.  Ah, just what the doctor ordered!  And maybe tomorrow, maybe my headache will be gone, and maybe I'll feel a wee bit better.  Baby steps........


  1. Baby steps indeed. And nothing heals the hurts as well as the ocean. So jealous you have two great trips coming up!

    I love those classes in which you cruise along, unfazed, unruffled, even if your practice isn't "perfect." Bravo for staying positive, hopeful, open!

  2. Trips work! Oh... and pedicures, lingerie , a party with your bestest g/friends... and chocolate! (((hugs))) you are loved! xoxo

  3. Oh man it's really sinking in...what I did...had to do. My heart is totally broken. I know it's for the best though. Thanks for the kind words. It really does help as I continue on in my beautiful struggle! This too shall pass.....